By: Pastor Jan Anderson (Prayer Pastor-Victory Worship Center, Tucson, AZ)
So privileged to have one of my spiritual moms to write this month’s BLOG. Here is a little background: Jan Anderson and her husband Zane pastor Victory Worship Center in Tucson, AZ. She is the Prayer Pastor and a dynamic speaker. She is one of the kindness, beautiful inside and out women I know. She is a wonderful pastor’s wife, mom and grandmother. She loves and cares for those that God has put around her.
This summer I had the privilege to tag-team preach with her at her women’s event at Victory. We sat down one day for lunch and she started telling me her story. I had no idea. I would have never guessed she had been through so much hurt, she is one of the most loving people I know. I fought tears listening to her tell her story.
I hope you enjoy reading her BLOG and see that if God can changed her broken life he can change any life. If you have “father wounds” may God of all comfort heal those broken places and make you a trophy of God’s grace like my Momma Jan Anderson.
I realize “Dad-less” is not a word, but I have found sometimes I did not have words to describe what it was like not having my dad in my life.
Here’s my story: My parents were bible-believing Christians, who attended church on a regular basis. My dad was also an elder in the church that we attended and my grandfather was once the superintendent of the Assemblies of God for the state we lived in. My dad had an affair with a lady he worked with and divorced my mom. I was 3 years old, number 5 of 6 children. I don’t really remember details that year, but our lives completely changed. I didn’t know my dad’s choices had immediate and long-lasting effects upon our lives. We moved to another state where my mother’s sister lived in order for her to escape the shame, even the shame in our church. My mother was such a woman of prayer and faith. She trusted God in the midst of the devastation she was experiencing and believed in miracles.
We were constantly praying for miracles. Whether it was praying for enough money to pay our rent, buy groceries, pay utilities, fix our car or to go to a doctor, the list always seemed endless. We moved numerous times because my mother had to go wherever she could find work, working six days a week trying to provide for all of us. I saw many supernatural provisions from God that has made me who I am today, and for that I am forever grateful to God.
Ann Ortland said, “Children are wet cement”. Parents leave an imprint in their children’s lives. At times growing up, I thought I was better off NOT having my dad in my life. I didn’t realize he was leaving an imprint in me with his absence. It was so hard not to have a dad to help me learn how to hit the ball in softball like the other girls or never to hold me at night when I was scared. I was even called a ‘bastard child’ and didn’t even know what that meant, but definitely knew it was bad. These are just a few examples to the daily struggles.
Here are some of the main imprints that my dad left in my life: rejection, abandonment, fear, fractured identity, poverty mindset, false image of God, self-hatred.
Dads and moms are to give their child three main expressions that determine that child’s life. Here are the 3 healthy and if not received, the negative expressions: meaningful touch (rejection), spoken words of affirmation (withdrawal), commitment (insecurity).
My dad’s actions or non-actions in my life left me emotionally chained, unable to genuinely establish lasting relationships with God or others, BUT GOD!
My mother taught us and believed the scripture “God will be a Father to the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5). The model of my mother’s life, her prayers, the intercession of Christ and the faithful love of Father God brought healing, freedom and redemption into my emotions, heart and life. No longer do the “imprints” of my dad’s choices have control of who I am. By God’s grace He helped me to forgive, love and pray for my dad. As a result, I have a strong relationship with my husband and family, blessed relationships/friendships in the body of Christ and healthy relationships with the male gender.
I was denied the blessing from my dad and where there is not a blessing a curse fills the void, but Jesus takes every curse upon himself so I can be blessed (Galatians 3:13). I am a testimony of the redeeming power of God, take my testimony as a prophetic word for your life!